i fell in love with meditation (a love letter to my heart)

I fell in love with meditation because each day, month, and sometimes even minute, you get to start again. Much like in the Christian faith I was raised in, forgiveness was always available. Starting over and connecting to your inner spirit was always available without judgment. I liked that and it helped me accept my thoughts. It also helped me remain consistent in my meditation practice. Even if I missed 3 days in a row, I could simply start again. There's always the next breath.

When I woke up this morning, my energy was off. I kept checking in with my emotions, but couldn't figure out why I felt anxious. I thought, “Well if it's just the coffee, let me go walk it off for a few minutes.” So I decided to take a walk. Into the sun and trees, I went.

Five minutes into the stroll, tears started streaming down my face. “Oh, there it is,” I thought. “There’s the anxiety.” I got quiet and let the tears talk. The response was your heart is broken. What?? I wailed some more! I found a place to sit my butt and my burdens down and I just let my heart tell me all the things she wanted me to hear.

She spoke to me about the past 2 years. She talked to me about my romantic disillusions. She talked about loneliness. She talked about how interconnected to nature, the cosmos, and my friends and family I am. She talked to me about truth, safety, and joy. She talked about starting again. Wiser and fresh. Allowing the past to be juicy fat on the bacon of my life: added for flavor but don't let it kill you, girl!

I pray that you can restart every day and if needed, every moment, with a clear heart.